


Time and Space are Words that Lose All Meaning When You Find You Have Neither to Spare

by knightofsuperior



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: More chapters to be added as I feel like writing them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:33:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29373891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightofsuperior/pseuds/knightofsuperior
Summary: An unearthly visitor makes a surprise landing in a decidedly unearthly place.
Kudos: 7





	Time and Space are Words that Lose All Meaning When You Find You Have Neither to Spare

“There’s a box in the courtyard. We’ve been asked to look into it.”

Claude raised his teacup, letting the aroma of the drink waft under his nose. “I’m sure you can handle it without me.”

Edelgard scowled, crossing her arms. “I don’t quite think you understand.”

“What’s to understand? There’s plenty of boxes in the monastery. Someone probably left it there when moving stock between the mess hall and the store rooms. Y’know,” he teased, “Just because Teach does everyone’s chores doesn’t mean we have to start too.”

Dimitri sighed, running a hand through his hair. “If only it were that simple. Claude, let me be frank: this is not a small box.”

“They want more manpower to lift it, I get it. I’m surprised they didn’t just ask Raphael; I’m sure he’d be thrilled.” Claude brought the cup to his lips, taking a long sip.

“I suppose there’s no point beating around the bush,” Edelgard muttered. She cleared her throat. “Let me cut to the point. A big, blue box crashed into the courtyard from the sky, and it’s human-sized. It has a  _ door. _ ”

Time seemed to stop for Claude, gravity taking the remaining tea from the lip of the cup back into its center.

“...do go on.”

* * *

“-and that’s why we need to be careful with it, Manuela! This could well be a piece of art from an ancient, skybound civilization, something from  _ before _ the Crest system, and I will not stand for you trying to destroy it!”

“Hanneman, please. I’m just trying to find out how to open it, since the handles aren’t working. Really, though-an art piece? Hardly. If anything, it’s furniture. This clearly is some sort of...extravagant wardrobe, of some kind, or perhaps a walk-out closet.”

“A  _ what?! _ ”

“You know, an outside walk-in closet. I’m sure they exist somewhere.”

“This is nonsense, and you know it!” Hanneman shouted, stomping his foot on the ground. “Now please, step away from the box, and put the tome back wherever you-”

“Professors, please,” Seteth pleaded, trying  _ very _ hard to ignore Flayn circling the box like a vulture hunting its prey. “Once the House Leaders, Professor Eisner, and Lady Rhea arrive, we’ll work out a decision  _ together _ .”

Hanneman sighed, rubbing his temples. “Yes, I understand-but it’s all so terribly  _ fascinating _ , you know!” 

Seteth knew  _ very _ well. But let that interest show, and you invite all sorts of trouble. The universe was cruel that way. “Be that as it may, we’ll want to make a decision with the others-if this is something beyond a simple sculpture, it could put the whole of the monastery at risk.”

“What makes you so sure it’s dangerous?” Seteth turned. Byleth, with the House Leaders in tow, came to a stop in front of the box. “It looks perfectly safe...for whatever it is.”

Seteth frowned, running a hand along the veneer of the box-it was  _ some _ sort of wood, that much was certain.“That’s my concern. It landed from on high, yet it did not leave a dent in the ground nor its own frame, nor are there any signs of weaponry. It’s either as it looks, or it’s hiding something in the plainest sight of all.”

“Maybe Hanneman’s onto something, though.” Claude put his hands behind his head, stretching out with a tired yawn. “We live in a world with wyverns and pegasi, magic and-presumably-heavenly deities. I wouldn’t put it past reality to toss in some mystical land in the sky.”

“I’d like to  _ not _ deal with an international relations disaster anytime soon, von Riegan, so I certainly hope you’re both wrong.”

Dimitri put a hand on his chin, eyes focused on the placard at the front of the box. “The letters are Fodlese-I’d hope I’d know the word  _ officers _ by now. Still, I don’t recognize some of them.  _ Teh-le-phon-ey? _ ”

“Perhaps it’s some sort of ancient inscription,” Edelgard mused. “A light flung into the future, even.”

Byleth had her own guesses. 

She believed the word was  _ telephone _ .

She wagered a guess the sign was some sort of instruction to whoever read it.

She also had an idea as to what was in the box.

Admittedly, this was only because the girl in her head took one glance at it and started screaming, visions flying out of her head into Byleth’s own.

**_No, no, no, no, no,_ ** **_no, no, no, no, no, NOT YOU AGAIN, YOU UTTERLY IGNORANT OAF! _ ** **_Every time you show up here, I end up with a headache for the ages! We are_ ** **_not_ ** **_doing this again, do you hear me?!_ **

_ Sothis? I think you need to breathe. _

**_I DON’T HAVE TO BREATHE, CHILD!_ **

_ What is this thing? Why are you acting like it’s alive? _

**_Because it_ ** **_is_ ** **_alive-and I’m not talking about the box, damn it all! I’m talking about the madman inside it!_ **

Before Byleth could question her further, amidst the discussion and the planning…

There came a knock.

Then another.

And another.

And about five more in rapid succession.

“Hello? Is anyone out there?”

Seteth’s jaw dropped. Someone was  _ in _ the box?

Someone survived in a _wooden box_ falling from **_that_** height?!

“I’ll take your stunned silence as a yes! Or maybe it’s a no, and I’m in for a lot of trouble. Presuming someone is on the other side of the door and I’m not simply reenacting my stint in the Tower again, I seem to be having a spot of trouble with the locks-inside works just fine, but the outside seems to be jammed up a tad.” A chuckle. “River always told me I should just have the one set, but I had this beauty stolen once before-and that’s  _ not _ happening again, nosirre! So, I have a question that will determine whether or not I stay trapped in here for all eternity.” 

A moment of quiet, tense and tangible, fell over the crowd. “...yes?” Dimitri asked. “What’s the question?”

“Hang on, hang on. I forgot the word.”

“...the word?”

“You know, the word for someone who does lock-y things.”

“...a locksmith?” Edelgard offered.

“Yes,” the voice exclaimed, “That! Exactly! You wouldn’t happen to have a locksmith handy?”

**_Tell him no! Let him_ ** **_rot_ ** **_there!_ **

Byleth, despite knowing better, felt the siren call of curiosity. “I have skills in lockpicking,” she called out, ignoring the cascade of heads snapping towards her in unison.

**_CHILD!_ **

“Fantastic! Ooh, fantastic, haven’t said that in a while, love those three syllables. Now, do take care not to damage anything, she’ll be right upset if you do-”

A strange, unearthly noise burst from the box, sending all in attendance reaching for their weapons of choice. Flayn, for lack of a weapon, held up a fishing rod.

“Oh, come on, you know I’m not a fan either! But I don’t think they like me very much, because I distinctly heard the ka-shing of a sword a few seconds ago.”

Another eldritch sound.

“Yes, that’s the sound swords make! I’ve had enough of them pulled on me, I  _ think _ I’d know it when I hear it!”

“Are you sure about this, Professor?” Manuela asked, decidedly less enthusiastic than she was a scant few minutes ago. “Perhaps we should wait for Lady Rhea.”

Byleth considered this.

For about two seconds.

Then, with the flick of a wrist, a lockpick appeared in her hand.

“How did you  _ do _ that, Teach?” Claude marveled. “You don’t have any sleeves!”

“Trade secret.” Stepping toward the door, and decidedly ignoring the angry screeches pouring through her brain, Byleth slid the pick into the keyhole. After shimmying it around for some time, she caught the lock itself, gently and carefully twisting it around. The tell-tale click came not long after. “There you go.”

“Brilliant! Ooh, it’s been a  _ long _ time since that one, too. Maybe I should bring out the brainy-specs while I’m at it. Now, let me just…”

Byleth leapt back as the doors suddenly opened inward, revealing…

Well. To call him Hanneman Two would be rude, but not entirely inaccurate.

The man before her seemed like a younger version of the Crest researcher, a brown-haired fellow clad in a salmon-pink shirt, some sort of tweed jacket, dark trousers, boots, and a bright red... _ something _ on his collar. She presumed it was some sort of tie, but she’d never seen one wrapped up into a bow before.

Perhaps that was a high-society fashion choice she was thankfully unaware of.

“Oh, it is  _ good _ to have people to surprise again! Gotta enjoy your entrances, you only get so many in your lives.”

Sothis had gone blessedly quiet...for a few seconds, before she began shouting again.  **_You changed_ ** **_again?!_ ** **_How vain are you to have so many faces, mortal!?_ **

The man frowned, crossing his arms.  **_Well, isn’t this a lovely welcome. What’s it been, a few hundred years? Hm. You’ve gotten shorter since the last time I saw you, you know._ **

Byleth blinked.  _ Wait. You can hear-no, you can  _ **_see_ ** _ her? _

Sothis grumbled, crossing her arms.  **_If only he couldn’t. Let me guess. It’s another one of your species’ “quirks.”_ **

**_Mild telepathy, yes-don’t get a chance to use it all too often, frankly, so it’s good to know that’s still there._ **

**_Then you can hear me loud and clear when I say this: I_ ** **_TOLD YOU_ ** **_TO NEVER RETURN!_ **

**_I can’t help where I land!_ **

**_You_ ** **_pilot_ ** **_that machine, of course you can!_ **

**_Look, if I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: the incident with the Sontarans was the Master’s doing, not mine._ **

**_They still came for me. While hunting for_ ** **_you._ **

**_And I stopped them! A little thank you couldn’t hurt._ **

**_Shall I refresh your memory about who else they brought along?_ **

**_Admittedly, I didn’t think the Ice Warriors could survive in a desert-_ **

“Say, uh, Teach? You’re staring a hole into this guy. You know him?” Byleth glanced over her shoulder, suddenly keen to the fact that all eyes were on the three of them.

Well. Two and a ghost.

“Oh, no, I’m entirely unfamiliar with her,” the man replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he surveyed his surroundings. “I just know her imaginary friend.”

**_IMAGINARY?!_ **

“I beg your pardon?” Seteth managed, looking between the man and the small portion of the box he could peek into.  _ Why is it so...yellow? Or is that orange? And for that matter, how does he fit in there? _

“No need to beg it, I can grant it.” The man grinned toothily, strolling out of the box and closing the door. “I’m 99% sure I’m still King of England, after all, but who needs that kind of pressure?”

Byleth watched in silence as he began to ramble on, striding to and fro across the front of his box.  _ He seems...interesting. _

**_I prefer infuriating._ **

_ Who is he, then? _

**_I do not remember much about myself. However, beyond the things I do_ ** **_not_ ** **_remember are those I_ ** **_refuse_ ** **_to remember. I don’t quite recall the hows and most of the whos, but…_ **

Byleth heard Sothis sigh harder than she ever had before.

**_It’s hard to forget The Doctor._ **


End file.
